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As
I write this, Tom H. is getting stuck with yet another needle and
undergoing yet another test. (I have to write "Tom H." because my
husband's name is Tom, and he's a pastor, too. I don't want to confuse
anyone.)
As I write this, I'm hoping: hoping that this test will be the one to
unlock the door of What is Going On Here, hoping that it will yield a
key to moving forward and bringing Tom health. I keep visualizing and
praying that that key is getting within reach.
And as I write this, I'm still grateful for the beauties of Spring, for
the glorious riot of Kwanzaan cherry trees on Alabama Street and the
sweet smell of (I think) the magnolias just up the street from my
apartment, for fresh mown grass and for birdsong in the early hours of
the day.
I know that sounds a lot like a Hallmark card. I know such sentiments
can sound hollow and empty and falsely cheery when someone we love, or
we ourselves, are facing hard questions, illness, roadblocks of whatever
kind between what we thought our lives were going to look like and what
they now are. I know that.
But I also know that God is with us in all the spaces and places of our
lives. There is no where we can go that God is not there also. There is
no escaping those loving arms and tender sighs and the gracious home
that is our God. We only escape God if we refuse God. (And even then,
I'm not so sure.)
God speaks to us in many ways. In scripture, yes; in our friends' and
loved ones' voices, yes; in the witness of kindness and justice walked
forth each day, yes. But God also speaks to us in the sighs of the wind,
and the color of impossibly bright cut-leaf maple leaves; in the soft
fur of puppies and in the deep tones of a cello; in the coolness of
smooth stones and in the smooth flow of ink in our favorite pens. God
speaks to us in the morning rituals of our days, in hot coffee, in soap
suds, in the hum of the refrigerator. Sound nuts? Well, maybe….but God
speaks to us often. Sometimes we get too busy, or too afraid, or too
lonely to listen to such speech. That is when we most need to hear it.
That is when we need to rely on one another to remind us of the Godspeak
going on all around us; that we are not alone; that there is beauty and
love and hope in the world.
In the unknowing times, when answers in their usual form are not to be
found, it is good to tune into all the forms of God's words. Continue to
pray…and continue to praise.
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Do not worry
about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of
God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds
in Christ Jesus.
Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is
pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any
excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these
things."
- Philippians 4:4,6-8
--Pastor Jane
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